Oh there are so many different ways to say the same thing. Follow your heart. Be true to yourself. God’s will. The universe has your back. Trust your instincts. Look inward. And on and on and on. Of course, there are so many ways to say the same thing because it is an entirely true concept that works every time you use it without fail. The problem is, we think we can control everything around us and follow our heart at the same time. But, sadly for us control freaks, that’s not the way it works. You have to follow your heart, and let go. Period.

What Does Follow Your Heart Mean?

It means do the thing you really want to do, and only do that thing. Listen to the part of you that says “hell yes!” and completely disregard everything else, that means other people’s opinions, the “rules,” the practical – everything.

Follow your heart means quit the job that makes you miserable and trust that the good one will present itself to you, excited to meet you in your place of trust. It means leave the man abusing you, knowing that you will find a way to survive and then thrive on your own. Following your heart means listening to yourself, valuing your feelings, and feeling worthy all the time no matter what.

I recently spoke with a woman I had met for the very first time who was unhappy with something at work: “But you know, there are consequences to taking the actions you may want to take.” She said. 

“Yes. There are. But here’s the thing: if you follow your heart, if the action you take comes from a place of your own self love, your own good instincts, you can trust that no matter what the consequences are, they will always work out in your favor. So you speak up at work, you take care of yourself, you do the thing you are compelled to do.

“And you get fired. Then that is the best possible thing that could happen to you. And you have to believe that.”

“Yes.” She said, nodding, straightening her shoulders. “I do. I do.”

Following your heart means trusting your impulses. And then acting on them before you or anyone else has a chance to talk you out of them.

Why Don’t You Follow Your Heart?

Fear.

Plain and simple, you don’t follow your heart because you are afraid. I know. I have been there plenty of times. We live in the land of what if? We focus on all the things that could go wrong. We spend our entire lives trying to calculate every single factor, plan for every single outcome, figure in every possibility and then make the best possible decision for us and/or our loved ones from that place.

If you don’t speak up, if you don’t talk to that person, if you don’t pursue that opportunity, the only thing holding you back is fear.

And here’s the secret about fear: it isn’t real.

Fear has no idea what will actually happen. Fear is self preservation. It is an instinct you have in place biologically wired to keep you safe. And often, “safe” is what is known. “I am safe right now, so if I just do nothing else outside of this safe place, I will be just fine.”

Yes. You will.

You’ll be safe.

And if safe is your goal, there is no shame in that. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be safe, especially if you come from a place of danger and instability. Safe feels good.

Safe

What is interesting is that if you shift your perspective just a bit, you can see that following your heart is actually your only guarantee of safety. If you live and act from a place of fear, you will continue to find reasons to be afraid, things to fear. You will find yourself retreating deeper and deeper into an artificial comfort zone. When you live in a place of fear, there are no guarantees.

In fact, many wise people have made the point that we bring our greatest fears upon us.

That, in fact, when we let go of fear, we no longer have anything to be afraid of.

So, if you think about it, there is actually much greater safety in love.

Follow your heart and you have no more reason to fear. You will attract only what you reach for, only what you are aimed at, and situations that might seem negative are actually positive.

Earlier tonight, I was working at my tutoring center, and my boss came in to talk to me.

I work on college essays with students, and apparently I had rubbed one student and his family the wrong way.

I am very passionate about what I do, I push my kids hard to reach inside and tell me what makes them great, or to show me, so I can tell them.

My first session with a student on college essays is typically a get to know you, tell me all your shit, let’s find your flowers session.

This particular student felt like I was asking to him to apologize for his white male privilege.

I wasn’t. Just the opposite in fact, but that is neither here nor there.

I cannot control what other people hear or feel from what I say. There will always be someone who doesn’t like me or who misunderstands me. I cannot control that.

No Fear

I told my boss that even a year ago, I might have taken that experience very personally. The parents complained. My boss needed to talk to me about it. And all along, I had felt like the session went really well. I thought we had a great rapport!

Now finding out it was not so good for him or his parents, I could have been devastated.

I wasn’t.

I smiled. I nodded my head. Yes, I assured my boss, I will work on my reading of people. I am usually, like ninety nine percent of the time, excellent at reading people and their responses to me.

I have gotten even better at it in the last year of my journey into total love.

But, you can’t win them all, and every experience is an opportunity for growth and reflection.

I reflected.

Yep. Still awesome.

My next session, after this conversation with my boss was…

Wait for it…

A white male, military hopeful no less, coming for college essay help.

Great.

I could have been afraid, second guessed myself, worried over every word, tried to change my approach.

I didn’t.

I jumped right in, pushing and pulling, talking and listening, diving and digging.

Following my heart.

And in the end, I did what I always do, I gave him the best advice I could give him based on our hour together.

As I spoke he began furiously writing notes, nodding his head. I told him what was great about him, how he should open his essay, why this would stand out more than anything else.

Following Your Heart Is the Only Way to Guarantee Your Success

I was following my heart, and I was telling him to follow his.

He stood up, he smiled, he shook his head, looking down at the floor.

Our session was over; it was ten o’clock, time for us both to leave.

He looked back up, looked me in the eye, and said, “This is great.” He was holding his notebook, still shaking his head. “This is so great. This is incredible. I want to have an impact on people the way you have had an impact on me. You are an inspiration to me, Shanna. Thank you. Really. Thank you.”

And I said what I always say when I hear that: “Thank you. Those are my favorite words to hear from anyone. It is my pleasure.”

He walked out of the room, shaking his head, and I heard him pass my boss in the hall on his way to the front of the building.

“Hey!” My boss said. “How’d it go?”

“She’s great.” My student answered. “She’s just so great.”

I have moments like this one every single day, and they never cease to amaze me. I am continuously surprised and delighted by a million little experiences throughout the day that come to me as a result of me finally embracing who I am, who I have always been, really, with only love, no fear, and an open heart.

It is my pleasure.