Own Your Truth: It’s Where the Magic Is

When I first got into the world of self help, not even a year ago, I had no idea what I was stepping into. My journey has been somewhat serendipitous as I have long been a believer in the power of the mind, so of course I started there. And from there my path naturally led to self help speaker and writers who promote that power. One of the biggest lessons I find within each of the dozens of practitioners I have come across is how important it is to own your truth. You must be authentically you or nothing you try will work out in the long run.

Forgiveness and Spirituality

It is interesting, isn’t it, how we preach so much about forgiveness and honesty, about spirituality and grace, but we rarely give any of those things to ourselves.

We struggle enough as it is to give them to others, especially people who piss us off.

It is easy to be kind to our friends and family. To nice people. To people we depend on and who depend on us, our children, our spouses.

But what about people we disagree with, or take issue with. What about people who aren’t kind to us?

It’s not as easy to show grace and forgiveness in those moments.

One of the first people I found in the self help world was Gabrielle Bernstein. In fact, I didn’t even know I was in self help. I thought I was in the Law of Attraction and Science of the Mind world. But I went to Gabby’s talk in SF before even reading any of her books. I liked what she said online. I liked the concepts of The Universe Has Your Back, so I registered for her talk and got two books out of the deal!

In fact, I was listening to The Universe Has Your Back on my way into San Francisco to hear her talk about her new book, Judgment Detox.

In this new book, which I’ve since listened to, Gabby talks about a situation she found herself in, as a spiritual teacher, with another spiritual teacher.

She found out that this other woman had said some nasty things about her.

Gabby was outraged. Affronted. “How dare a spiritual teacher talk shit about another spiritual teacher! How dare she judge me?! Who does she think she is?!” Gabby found herself thinking.

Oops.

That’s when she realized she was doing the very same thing! She owned her truth.

A spiritual teacher judging a spiritual teacher for judging a spiritual teacher.

Does your head hurt yet?

And now, Gabby found she had to stop this cycle. She had to stop the judgment, which also meant she could not judge herself.

Be Kind to Yourself

It will be absolutely impossible to ever own your truth if you cannot be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself your trespasses. Love yourself in all of your glory.

Recently, I had a student begin to cry at my desk.

“Tell me.” I said. “Tell me.”

“I know I shouldn’t be so hard on myself, but I just can’t help it.”

“No no no no stop that right now.” I said to her, cutting her off.

“You don’t get to be hard on yourself about being hard on yourself. That’s not how you’ll make the situation better. You cannot look at something you don’t like and force yourself to like it. You need to create a new story. Shift your focus. Look away from the things you don’t like. And pay all of your attention to the things you do like.”

I dug in with this student, getting her to tell me all the things she was good at, what she loved about herself, what she was proud of, how she knew without doubt that she was good at those things.

I made her laugh.

And at the end of our session, she looked up at me.

“Thank you.” She said. “Thank you for all those things you said to me. You’re a really great person.”

“Thank  you.” I said. “So are you.”

Remember Who You Are

One of my favorite scenes in The Black Panther is when T’Challa is getting his ass fully handed to him by M’Baku and as T’Challa is fully upside down, he can see his mother yelling at him “Remember who you are!”

And then T’Challa kicks the shit out of M’Baku.

This scene is what it is all about.

The Black Panther is who he is because he believes in himself.

And you are who you are because of your beliefs.

A belief is simply something you tell yourself over and over again. It is your truth. And you can change your truth at anytime, even in the middle of getting your ass kicked.

Here is where it all comes together.

Pay attention to the great things about you, even if you can only think of one thing. This is how you own your truth.

“I’m strong.” My aunt would say over and over.

She had just lost her son to suicide; then a month later her boyfriend revealed he was cheating on her and that she would have to move out so he could move his new girlfriend in. Then just a month after that her boss decided to let her go, saying she was too distraught to continue her work.

Three major life changes within three months.

“I’m strong. I can say that about myself. I’m still here.” This is what she would say whenever I would tell her what I’m telling you now.

Start with what is great about you. Something you believe absolutely without doubt. And grow from there.

Today, two years later, my aunt has a new job that pays her well and treats her with love and respect. She is dating a very loving man with clear boundaries and a firm grasp on what honesty means. And she owns a lovely new home. When I talked to her a few days ago, she sounded better than ever, and she’s looking forward to more magic.

Own Your Truth: This Is Where the Magic Is

Own your truth, start with with you know absolutely about yourself, and grow it into something beautiful.

You can be a queen, you can run your own business, you can stay home with your kids, you can become president.

If you can imagine it, you can have it, and the path there is purely mental.

It all starts within you. You have to love yourself.

You have to love yourself more than you love anyone else. Love yourself so much that people look at you and know exactly how to love you.

Love yourself so much that you see who you are, deep deep down, and you love her. You own your truth, and you want that woman inside you to embrace her truest self. You want her to make all her dreams come true.

Then the love spills over into love for others.

And in loving others, and in knowing yourself, you find what you love to do, because all work we do, no matter what it is, is service to others.

And because you love what you do, others love what you do, and now you are actively contributing to the economy, making money, spending money, and so on.

And that is how the magic happens.

And then, as they say, we all live happily ever after.

Try it.

What’s the best that could happen?