It started last night: “mama, I have a sore throat.”
This is a sign that my five year old has an impending cold and plans on staying down for at least a day.
Sure enough, when I went into her room this morning, there were tissues scattered on her bedroom floor from the numerous times she had woken up to blow her nose and then fling the tissues aimlessly. (Ah, the joys of motherhood.)
So, I sent the appropriate apologies to friends we had made plans with and settled down for a “day off.” The ongoing routine that we have when my child is sick has been handed down to me from my mother: you can have as much screen time as you want. You can drink juice all day long. I will make you Top Ramen (I throw in some broccoli florets to relieve some of my mom guilt). I will have Papa bring home popsicles. I am available for an endless supply of snuggles. And I will listen with rapt attention to your stories as best I can. (I struggle with this one. I can only listen to the fabulous – and bizarre – adventures of her imaginary friends so many times in one day.) My mom stuck to this tradition with all four of her children, and the downtime never lasted more than a day, maybe two for a bad cold, and on a few occasions it extended out to a few days or a week when we had fevers or flu. It was rare. It was a treat. And I now bestow that treat on my own daughter.
Today, after a long day of downtime with my five year old and my infant, I realized that these days are in so many ways also treats for me as the mother, and I remind myself that self care is not selfish.
So here they are, the five reasons you should stay home when your child is sick:
- You get to enjoy an extra cup of coffee. Usually by the time I would want an extra cup of coffee we are already out of the house running around. Because I am neither crazy nor rich, I do not attempt a trip with two kids in tow to Starbucks every morning for the second cup I would love, so I have to wait for the afternoon when we are home again. But not on sick days! On sick days I can heat up my teapot and fill up my french press (more on this later. I’ve got a coffee snobbery blog in the works.) in the late morning as I sit in front of my computer to get some work done. Which brings me to number two.
- You can get some work done. All those little tasks you put off for later in the week or the weekend, or heaven forbid later that night after everyone goes to bed, you can do now. Set your kid up with that unlimited amount of juice you promised and some crackers and pay those bills, write that blog, plan that vacation, or Tweet and Facebook. Put your feet up, prop your laptop on your legs, set your mug on your coaster, and surf.
- You can catch up on shows. I am so behind in Game of Thrones right now that I don’t understand half of my Twitter feed. Apparently something is happening with dragons, and the Stark family has reunited. What I do know is I deeply miss Daenerys. A sick day is a perfect day to catch up. Set up Netflix on the TV for your kiddo and pull up HBO Go on your laptop. You can totally binge watch with your kid right next to you. Just turn the screen away and put a headphone in one of your ears. Your child does not need to witness any GoT shenanigans.
- You can make those phone calls. Any parent knows how impossible it is to make a phone call with a child in the house. My kid can forget I exist in our house for more than an hour while she plays with toys, unless I’m on the phone. The second I’m on the phone my kid has to tell me something so important that it requires a constant stream of “mama mama mama” until I give her my attention. End of phone call. But when she’s got a cold, she’s calm and quiet and settled down. She stares at her screen like she’s been deprived of technology her whole life. (She hasn’t.) I can call and catch up with my aunt, my sister, or my mother, who are all quite happy to hear from their long lost relative who rarely makes phone calls anymore.
- Finally, you can take a day of rest. My mom once said to me that when you get sick, it is your body’s way of telling you that you need to rest. Well, you get to take advantage of your child’s body needing to rest by getting some rest of your own. You’re a parent, enough said. You need rest. Whether you are running around all day as a stay at home mom to make park play dates and soccer classes or you are a full time working mom having to meet deadlines for yourself and everyone in your family, or you are, like me, somewhere in the middle, you are more than likely trying to “do it all.” American society demands so much of us, and we work so hard to meet those demands. I have read too many blogs recently about mom’s locking themselves in the bathroom to cry quietly or about the burden of being the knower of all things. And when I say “too many” what I mean is, this is crazy! Use your kid’s sick day as an opportunity to just say no for a change. Lie on the floor and do a puzzle with your kid, binge watch your show, take a nap if your kid takes a nap, stay in your yoga pants or sweats, and just give your body and your mind a much needed and well deserved break.
In the end, even if you try to give yourself the day, life happens; you may only get one of the things on the list done. Or, your kid may be so enthralled with her screen that you get a little bit of everything on the list done. Or, like me, you have a second, smaller child who demands your attention, and you try to check off some things on the list while the little one sleeps and the older one watches a movie.
(She woke up!)
Regardless of your specific situation, take the down time when it comes. We all know that childhood races by and that we spend most of it racing right along with it, so when the opportunity to slow down for a second, or two, comes knocking, answer the door.